Scenariusz przedstawienia teatralnego w j. angielskim "Shrek"

Narrator
- Dawno, dawno temu żyła piękna księżniczka. Ale zła wróżka rzuciła na nią czar i jedynie pocałunek kochanego mógł go z niej zdjąć. Księżniczka mieszkała w zamku, strzeżonym przez ziejącego ogniem smoka. Wielu śmiałków próbowało ją uwolnić z owego więzienia, ale żadnemu się nie udało. Księżniczka czekała więc w najwyższej komnacie najwyższej wieży, na swego ukochanego i jego pocałunek.

Scena I

Pinokio
- Please, don't! I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance!

Kobieta I
- Shut up!

Rycerz
- Next. What have you got?

Kobieta I
- This little wooden puppet.

Pinokio
- I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (Jego nos rośnie)

Rycerz
- Five złoty for the toy. Take it away!

Pinokio
- No!

Rycerz
- Next. What have you got?

Kobieta II
- Well, I've got a talking donkey.

Rycerz
- I’ll give you 10zł, if you prove it.

Kobieta II
- Oh, go ahead, little boy.

Rycerz
- Well?

Kobieta II
- Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt!

Rycerz
- I've heard enough. Guards!

Kobieta II
- No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! (odchodzi)

Osioł
- I can talk. I’m the most talkative donkey in the world.

Rycerz
- Catch him! He’s running away! (Straże biegną za osłem. Na ich drodze staje Shrek)

Rycerz
- You there. Ogre! By the order of Lord Farquaad I can arrest you both!

Shrek
- Really! (Shrek pokonuje przeciwnika, zostaje z osłem)

Osioł
- You were incredible!

Shrek
- Are you talking to me? (Odwraca się do osła)

Osioł
- Yes. You were wonderfull! Those guards! They were tripping over themselves. It was amazing!

Shrek
-  It’s great. Really.

Osioł
-  It’s so good to be free.

Shrek
- Why don’t you go celebrate your freedom with your friends?

Osioł
- But I haven’t got any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stay with you. You're mean, green, fighting machine. Together we'll scare everybody.
(Shrek głośno beka)
- Oh, wow! That was really scary. If that doesn't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, because you definitely need some Tic Tacs because your breath stinks!

Shrek
-  Why are you following me?

Osioł
- Because I’m so lonely. (śpiewa) All my friends have left me. But you need to have a friend.

Shrek
- Stop singing. It’s no wonder, you don’t have any friends.

Osioł
- Only a true friend can be so honest!

Shrek
- Really?

Osioł
- Really, really. Man, I like you. What’s your name?

Shrek
- Shrek.

Narrator
- Tak rozmawiając Shrek z osłem doszli do bagna i do chatki w której mieszkał ogier.

Osioł
- Well, do you know what I like about you? You don’t care what somebody thinks of you. I respect that. Look at that. Who would live in such a place?

Shrek
- It’s my home.

Osioł
- Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. Can I stay with you?

Shrek
- What?

Osioł
-  Can I stay with you, please?

Shrek
- Of course! (Sarkastycznie)

Osioł
- Really?

Shrek
- Of course not!

Osioł
- Please! I don't wanna go back there! Let me stay! Please!

Shrek
- Okay! Okay! But one night only.

Osioł
- Ah! Thank you! It will be great! (Wbiega do chatki i mości się w fotelu). Where will I sleep?

Shrek
-  Outside!

Osioł
- Oh, well, I guess that's cool. Good night. (Shrek wchodzi do domu i zauważa bohaterów bajek.)

Królewna Śnieżka
-  It isn’t a castle, but we haven’t got a choice.

Pinokio
-  It isn’t a house, but what else can we do?

Wilk
- What a lovely bed.

Shrek
- Enough! (Wypycha wszystkich z domku) What are you doing in my house? I live in a swamp. I'm a terrifying ogre! What should I do to get a little privacy? (On otwiera drzwi i wyrzuca wszystkie postacie z bajek z domu, ale wszyscy znowu wracają do chatki) Oh, no. No! No! (Patrzy na osła)

Osioł
- Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.

Kopciuszek
- Noone invited us.

Shrek
- What?

Wilk
- We were forced to come here.

Shrek
- By who?

Pinokio
- Lord Farquaad

Shrek
- Who knows where does this Farquaad live?

Osioł
- I know.

Shrek
- Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone?
(Cisza. Wszyscy patrzą się na siebie, ale nikt nic nie mówi.)

Osioł
- Me! Me!

Shrek
- Anybody?

Osioł
- Choose me! I know!

Shrek
(Wzdycha) - Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. I’m going to see that Farqaad and you’re going with me! (Wskazuje na Osła)

Osioł
- All right, Shrek and Donkey together. I love it! (Mówi to śpiewająco)

Shrek
- What did I say about singing?
(Osioł zaczyna gwizdać)
Scena II
Narrator
- W zamku Lord Farqaad dopytywał się u magicznego lustra czy jest on idealnym królem najwspanialszego królestwa.

Lord Farquaad
- Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?

Lustro
- Well, technically you're not a king. (Strażnik robi ruch zamierzając rozbić lustro)

Lord Farquaad
- What did you say?

Lustro
- I mean you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.

Lord Farquaad
- Go on.

Lustro
(Nerwowo) - So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet three princesses. And here they are! Princess number one is a crazy girl from a kingdom far, far away. Her hobbies are cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. (pokazuje zdjęcie Kopciuszka) Princess number two is a girl from another kingdom. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Meet Snow White! (pokazuje zdjęcie Śnieżki) And last, number three is a princess from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! Greet Princess Fiona! (pokazuje zdjęcie księżniczki Fiony) So will it be princess number one, princess number two or princess number three?

Lord Farquaad
- Two! Three! Two! One? Three? - Okay, okay, uh, number three!

Lustro
- Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona.

Lord Farquaad
- Princess Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go...

Lustro
- But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night.

Lord Farquaad
- I’ll merry her.

Lustro
- Yes, but after sunset...

Lord Farquaad
- Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and Duloc will finally have the perfect king!

Scena III
Narrator
- W tym czasie Shrek z Osłem dotarli do pałacu Lorda Farquaada, który właśnie przemawiał do mieszkańców królestwa i przekonywał wszystkich do szlachetnej misji poratowania księżniczki żeby w ten sposób ocalić królestwo od nieszczęścia.

Shrek
- So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle.

Osioł
- That’s right.

Lord Farquaad
- That champion shall have the honor to rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the keep of the dragon. (Zauważa ogra) What is that? A new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be a champion! Go ahead! Kill him.

Shrek
- All right then. Come on!
(Zaczyna się walka, w której szybko zwycięża Shrek)

Lord Farquaad
- Congratulations, ogre. You're won the honor of rescuing a princess.

Shrek
- A princess? I just want to get back my swamp.

Lord Farquaad
- Your swamp?

Shrek
- Yes. Where you brought those fairy tale creatures!

Lord Farquaad
- Indeed. All right, ogre. I'll make you a deal. Do it for me, and I'll give you your swamp back.

Shrek
- What should I do?

Scena IV
Narrator
- Shrek zgodził się na umowę Lorda Farquaada, żeby odzyskać swoje bagno. Razem z nowym przyjacielem Osłem wyruszył do dalekiego zamku strzeżonego przez ziejącego ogniem smoka aby uratować księżniczkę Fionę. Po długiej męczącej podróży dotarli wreszcie do mrocznego zamku. Shrek pobiegł schodami do najwyższej wieży gdzie miał nadzieję znaleźć księżniczkę, a Osioł został czekać na dole. Niestety tam zauważył go straszny olbrzymi smok.

Osioł
(ucieka od smoka, ale wkrótce smok łapie osła i zamierza go zjeść) - No. Oh, no, No! (smok ryczy). Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all from your food. And you know what else? You're... You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure. I mean, of course you're a beautiful girl dragon. (smok zaczyna mrugać oczami flirtując) What's the matter with you? (smok zamyka oczy i wyciąga usta żeby pocałować Osła) No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! (Smoczyca zabiera Osła że sceny).

Scena V

(Shrek wbiega do komnaty Fiony i widzi ją leżącą na łóżku z bukietem w rękach i wyciągniętymi ustami do pocałunku. Shrek potrząsa nią, chwytając za ramię, żeby obudzić. )

Shrek
- Wake up! Are you Princess Fiona?

Fiona
- Yes, I am, and I’m waiting for a knight who will rescue me.

Shrek
- It’s so sweet. Let’s go!

Fiona
- But wait, Sir Knight. This is our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?

Shrek
- Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.

Fiona
- Can I at least know the name of my champion?

Shrek
- Shrek

Fiona
- Sir Shrek. (wyjmuje haftowaną chusteczkę i podaje Shrekowi) Thank you for saving me. (słysząc ryk smoka) Did you kill the dragon? (Shrek wyciera nią brudną twarz i oddaje Fionie) (Słychać głośny ryk smoka) Didn't you kill the dragon?

Shrek
- No, but I’m going to. Let’s go!

Osioł
- Hi, Princess!

Fiona
- It talks!
(Wszyscy uciekają od smoka.)

Fiona
(siedząc na ziemi i oddychając) - You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing. (za nią Osioł upada na ziemię ze zmęczenia) You're ... You're wonderful... (odwraca się i widzi jak Shrek śmiesznie uderza się w Osła). You may take off your helmet, good Sir Knight.

Shrek
- No!

Fiona
-But how will you kiss me?

Osioł
- You think... Wait. You think, that Shrek is you true love?

Fiona
- Yes
(Osioł i Shrek zaczynają głośno śmiać się)

Fiona
- What’s so funny?

Shrek
- I'm not your type, okay?

Fiona
- Yes, you are. (Shrek zdejmuje hełm) You're ... an ogre!

Shrek
- Oh, were you expecting Prince Charming?

Fiona
- Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an ogre.

Shrek
- Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the one who wants to marry you.

Fiona
- Then why didn't he come to rescue me?

Shrek
- Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.

Fiona
- But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre and his ...pet. Tell Lord Farquaad, that if he wants to merry me, I'll be waiting for him right here.

Shrek
- Hey! I'm not a messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy. (Bierze Fionę na plecy i idzie)

Fiona
- You wouldn't dare. Put me down!

Narrator
- W czasie podróży cała trójka się zaprzyjaźniła. Okazało się, że Fiona ze Shrekiem mają dużo wspólnego i między nimi pojawiła się szczególna sympatia. Na noc księżniczka zawsze zostawała sama w jakiejś jaskini. Ostatniej nocy, kiedy Fiona spała w małej zrobionej dla niej przez ogra chatce, Osioł ze Shrekiem rozmawiali przy ognisku.

Scena VI

Osioł
- Now I really see what's going on here.

Shrek
- What are you talking about?

Osioł
- You love her!

Shrek
- You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.

Osioł
- Oh, come on, Shrek. Just go and tell her how you feel.

Shrek
- But... she's a princess, and I'm ...an ogre. (Odwraca się i idzie ze sceny)

(Osioł wchodzi do jaskini Fiony)
Osioł
- Princess? Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? Princess? Oh no! Help!

Fiona
- Sh! No, it's okay. It's okay. Donkey, I'm the princess...in this body.

Osioł
- Oh, my God! You ate the princess. (mówiąc do jej brzucha) Can you hear me?
- Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!

Fiona
- It’s me, Fiona!

Osioł
- Princess? What happened to you? You're .... different.

Fiona
- I'm ugly, okay? I've been this way as long as I can remember. It only happens when sun goes down. "By night one way, by day another. This shall be... until you find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form."

Osioł
- Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poems.

Fiona
- It's a spell. (wzdycha) When I was a girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this. (płacze)

Osioł
- Calm down. You are ugly. But only at night. Shrek's ugly all the time. How about if you don’t merry Farquaad?

Fiona
- I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.

Scena VII

(Na scenie pojawia się Farquaad na koniu ze strażnikem)

Shrek
- Princess Fiona, as promised.

Lord Farquaad
- Very well, ogre. (wręcza Shrekowi dokument) Take it and go to your swamp before I change my mind. Nice to meet you, dear Princess Fiona. I'm Lord Farquaad. Beautiful Princess, will you merry me?

Fiona
- Lord Farquaad, I accept...

Lord Farquaad
- Excellent! I'll start the preparation for tomorrow wedding!

Fiona
- No! Why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets.

Lord Farquaad
- You're right. (ze śmiechem) The sooner, the better.

Fiona
- Good-bye, Shrek. (Fiona z Farquaadem odjeżdzają)

Osioł
- I must tell you something. She likes you, maybe she even loves you.

Shrek
- Love me? She said I was an ugly creature. I heard when you were talking.

Osioł
- She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about... somebody else.

Shrek
- Wedding! We won’t come on time.

Osioł
- Don’t worry! Be happy! (gwizd, przybywa Smoczyca) It's just my animal magnetism. (Obaj się śmieją, wskakują na smoczycę i lecą do zamku Farquaada)

Scena VIII

Ksiądz
- People of DuLoc we’re here to celebrate the wedding of our king. I pronounce you a husband and a wife...

Shrek
(Wbiegając) - I object! Hello, everybody! You can’t merry him! He’s merrying you just to be a king. And he doesn’t love you!

Lord Farquaad
- And what do you know about true love? The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! (śmieje się)

Fiona
- Is it true, Shrek? (patrząc na zachód słońca) "By night one way, by day another" (do Shreka) I wanted to show you before (zamienia się w ogra)

Shrek
- Well, that explains a lot.

Lord Farquaad
- It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get them out of my sight! Get them! Get them both!
(Strażnicy rozdzielaja Shreka i Fionę. Shrek walczy z nimi)

Lord Farquaad
- And as for you, my wife, I'll lock you back in that tower for the rest of your days!
(Shrek gwizdzy i przylatują smoczyca z Osłem. Smoczyca zjada Farquaada)

Osioł
- All right. Nobody move. I’ve got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it.
(Smoczyca głośno beka i wypluwa koronę Farquaada)

Shrek
- Fiona, I love you!

Fiona
- I love you too!
(Shrek i Fiona całują się. Magia zaklęcia odrzuca Fionę i ona upada na ziemię)

Shrek
- Fiona? Are you all right?

Fiona
(otwiera oczy) - Yes, but I don’t understand. I supposed to be beautiful.

Shrek
- You ARE BEAUTIFUL! (Shrek i Fiona uśmiechają się do siebie)