Cinderella - from rags to riches. Przedstawienie kabaretowe w języku angielskim

Rekwizyty: miotła, duża księga, strzelba, duża karta karciana - na odwrocie rysunek powozu, samochodzik-zabawka do jeżdżenia, i inne.
Przedstawienie można obejrzeć: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-23cBKVFTY

[DOM KOPCIUSZKA] (gong x3 – po 3 sek. muzyka [50sek] i PRAWA Kopciuszek wbiega na scenę w rozpinanej sukience?, tańczy z miotłą i miotełką do kurzu)
PRAWA
[koniec muzyki – wchodzi Narrator] (STOI TAM CAŁY CZAS)
[otwiera księgę]
Once upon the time there was a poor girl, Cinderella.
[Macocha i Siostry wołają Cinderella zza sceny, Kopciuszek miota się po scenie z prawa na lewo i z powrotem 3 razy. Narrator zaczyna mówić – Kopciuszek zdejmuje sukienkę i staje w worku na środku sceny]
[Narrator]
Cinderella, like every day, was busy separating poppy from ash and cabbage from peas. Besides she was good at cleaning, cooking, ironing, washing up, vacuuming... in one word she was more efficient and prettier than the washing machine - she had more small buttons. In contrast, Cinderella's sisters were ugly, because they didn’t have buttons and did not like Cinderella terribly.
LEWA [obie]
[Siostra pierwsza]
Cinderella, you dirty pig!
[Siostra druga]
You slob!
[Siostra pierwsza]
You moron !!! LEWA

PRAWA
[Kopciuszek]
I’m so miserable... PRAWA

[Narrator]
Five minutes away on a unicorn Prince lived in the palace. Prince was single and wanted to get married and was looking for a good girl.
LEWA
[Książę]
(szuka)
Where is she.... Where is she... where’s that good girl... she’s nowhere ... PRAWA
[Narrator]
So he decided to make a party to which he invited all the beautiful virgins. Cinderella's sisters thought they were beautiful virgins, they began to get ready for the party ...
LEWA [obie] LEWA [Siostry obie] (wchodzą, szykują się na bal...)
[Narrator]
...but they were ugly, so let's get back to Cinderella.
[Siostry obie]
(przestają się szykować, wychodzą) LEWA
[Narrator]
Cinderella did not have real mother, but the replacement and her name was stepmother.
LEWA
[Macocha]
Cinderella, let Cinderella iron dresses for her sisters to the party!
PRAWA
[Kopciuszek]
Yes, Stepmother.
[Macocha]
Do not call me Stepmother! And if you say Stepmother, don’t say Stepmother, but Stepmother!
[Kopciuszek]
Yes, Stepmother.
[Macocha]
Yeah! (wychodzi) LEWA
[Kopciuszek]
I’m so miserable... Oh, sheet! [PRAWA wybiega; po chwili wraca z prześcieradłem z napisem SHEET z wypalonym śladem żelazka] I’ve forgotten to turn off the iron and I’ve burnt the sheet!
[Siostry obie] LEWA
[Siostra druga]
Cinderella! You looser!
[Siostra pierwsza]
You fool!
[Siostra druga]
You idiot!!! [wychodzą LEWA]
[Kopciuszek]
I’m so miserable...
[Narrator]
Cinderella really began to cry.
[Kopciuszek rzuca się na scenę, macha nogami i rękami]
She cried and cried, she cried until it turned night. Sisters with stepmother were already at the party, and Cinderella wept more and more. And she would be dehydrated to death ... but what is it? There is a fairy. I think good.

PRAWA
[Wróżka] You are crying?

[Kopciuszek]
Yes, Godmother.
[Wróżka]
Do not call me God Mother! And if you already say God Mother, don’t call me God Mother but God Mother!
[Kopciuszek]
Yes, Godmother.
[Wróżka]
OK! You want to go to the party?
[Kopciuszek]
Yes!!!
[Wróżka]
Have this beautiful dress! [przyczepia do sukienki Kopciuszka napis „CC”]
[Narrator]
Fairy, using methods known to herself, turns Cinderella’s ugly dress into Cinderella’s brilliant dress.
[Wróżka]
Now get to the party and get married!
[Kopciuszek]
And shoes?
[Wróżka]
And shoes too. [podaje siatkę z napisem Deichmann]
[Kopciuszek]
Oh, how grateful I am to you for this outfit. But how will I get to the party?
[Wróżka]
Here's a beautiful ... [odwraca się do Narratora, który podaje jej płasko kartę 1] ... card ...
[Kopciuszek]
Are you crazy?! A card?! [oddaje Wróżce]
[Wróżka]
(oddaje Narratorowi)
What the hell is that?! Can’t you spell ?!
[Narrator]
Well... OK, Ok... card, card ... [poprawia w księdze]... cart ... [podaje jej kartę 2; Wróżka daje ją Kopciuszkowi]
[Kopciuszek]
[do Wróżki] So what – should I pull it myself?!
[Wróżka]
Relax – there are four ...[bierze od Narratora kiść myszy komputerowych] ... mouses?!
[Kopciuszek]
[do Narratora] Are you mad?!
[Wróżka]
(do narratora)
No, no, you're illiterate! Not computer mouses, but mice, animals!
LEWA
[Siostry obie] (do Narratora) Hahaha!

[Siostra pierwsza]
What a moron!
[Siostra druga] He doesn’t know English.

[Siostry obie]
He didn’t attend our school! [pokazują koszulki z logo ZS] [wychodzą LEWA
[Narrator]
Ah, get lost! There you are – the car! A posh car! And here is the key of this posh car! [poprawia w księdze – Kopciuszek bierze kluczyk]
[Kopciuszek]
Well, now I understand! [odjeżdża] PRAWA
[Wróżka]
Just remember! Your driving licence is valid only till midnight [wychodzI LEWA
PRAWA
[Kopciuszek] [wchodzi sama]
Did you say „a posh car”?
[Narrator] [dumnie]
Yes, wonderful, isn’t it? Very elegant!
[Kopciuszek] [cofa się po autko]
So, why is it a “push-car”?! You can’t spell and speak! Go to school!
[„wsiada” i przejeżdża przez scenę na autku, wydając dźwięki samochodu] LEWA
[Narrator] [żałośnie]
I’m so miserable...
[ZMIANA DEKORACJI: PAŁAC KSIĘCIA]

[Narrator]
And Cinderella went to the party in a new dress and in a posh...a PUSH car, allowing her to jump out of shoes and a change of marital status. Meanwhile, at the party ...
LEWA
[Książę]
Has Cinderella come? ...
[Narrator]
This is not the scene! "Mother and nasty daughters " start please!
[Książę]
(poprawia się)
Has the mother with nasty daughters already come?
[Narrator]
Yes, Prince.
[Książę]
And that monster with her mother and sister?
[Narrator]
Yes, Prince.
[Książę]
And that little bitchy with her sister and mother?
[Narrator]
Yes, Prince.
[Książę]
And now: Has Cinderella come? ...
[Narrator]
Not yet!
[Książę]
And what time is it?
[Narrator]
It’s five to midnight.
LEWA
[Kopciuszek]
[wpada na scenę]
Let’s dance! Quickly, because I have little time!!!

[Książę]
Orchestra! Something slow and romantic please!
(muzyka death metal [24sek], Książę tańczy z Kopciuszkiem. Po muzyce [24sek] mówi)
[Książę]
What’s your name, Cinderella?
[Kopciuszek]
Cinderella!
[Książę]
Why don’t we just go out?
[Kopciuszek]
And what’s the time?
LEWA
[Siostry obie] (wpadają na scenę)
What’s the time?
Ten to nine!
Hang your knickers on the line
when they dry – bring them in and put them in the biscuit tin
eat your biscuits
eat your cake
eat your knickers by mistake! Hahahahaha! [rzucają w Kopciuszka majtkami i wychodzą]

[Kopciuszek]
[podnosi majtki i chowa za siebie]
[Książę]
[po chwili z godnością]
They just wanted to say that it’s midnight.
[Kopciuszek]
Then I’m going back! [wybiega PRAWA]
[Narrator]
And the shoe?!
[Kopciuszek wraca, podaje bucior i ucieka PRAWA. Książe patrzy na bucior zdumiony, patrzy na Narratora – ten wzrusza ramionami. Książe wychodzi LEWA]

[ZMIANA DEKORACJI: DOM KOPCIUSZKA]
[Narrator]
The next day at Cinderella’s home something has changed ...
LEWA
[Siostry obie]
Cinderella, you want some chocolate?
PRAWA
[Kopciuszek]
Yes!!!
[Siostry obie] Then buy it !!! LEWA

[Kopciuszek]
I’m so miserable... PRAWA
[Narrator]
Meanwhile, the Prince was running around the town and trying on the shoe for all women.
LEWA
[Książę]
Where are all the women?! There aren’t any.... [PRAWA wpada za dekorację i woła]
Where are all the women?! Where are all the women?!
LEWA Książe
PRAWA Macocha, Siostry i Kopciuszek – stają na środku pod dekoracją]
[Narrator]
He burst into Cinderella's house and went on trying on Cinderella's shoe. For the stepmother – too small, for the first sister – too big, for the other sister – just right
[Książę]
[środek sceny]
Is this your shoe?
[Siostra druga]
No, but it fits!
[Macocha wyjmuje strzelbę I wymierza w Księcia]
[Książę] [spogląda na Macochę i mówi niepewnie]
Well, let's get married!
[Narrator]
And they did.
[Kopciuszek]
I’m so miserable... PRAWA
[Narrator]
Poor Cinderella was so upset at those shoes that she developed her cleaning business and became awfully rich.
[PRAWA Kopciuszek przechodzi przez scenę, z dolarami wystającymi z kieszeni i rozmawia przez telefon LEWA]
She earned so much money that she bought the palace of the Prince and he had to move to his mother-in-law and sister-in-law.
PRAWA
[Książe w koronie na szyi, z podbitym okiem] I’m so miserable... PRAWA
[Narrator]
And they lived VERY unhappily ever after... [zamyka księgę] [piosenka Money – LEWA aktorzy na scenę]